Behind You by Jacquline Woodson

“When you die, your voice becomes the wind and whispers to the living-
Ellie. You’re loved.
Carlton. You’re loved.
Mama. You’re loved.
Pops. You’re loved.
And Kennedy-hey, Kennedy-you got game, yo!
And when each of the people you left behind has heard, you turn slowly and begin your long walk into your new world.
But some every now and then you stop, look behind you.
And remember.”


Behind You is a story that describes the emotional aftermath of a young black teenager’s untimely death. While running home from his girlfriend Ellie’s house, Miah is shot in Central Park by a police officer who mistook him for a criminal on the run. What follows is a beautifully rendered narrative tracing the hurt, healing, and eventual surrender of each person affected by his death, including Miah from the other side of life. Each chapter is brief and is told from the perspectives of different characters in the book: Miah, Ellie (the love of Miah’s life), Nelia (Miah’s mother), Kennedy (Miah’s basketball teammate), Carlton (Miah’s oldest friend), Norman (Miah’s father), and Desire Viola (Miah’s grandmother who meets him on the other side). Each character describes their pain and the steps they take, willing or not, to accept and move on from Miah’s death. Miah himself struggles to let go of the world he left and look forward to his new world. Throughout the narrative, Woodson explores the questions of how long it should take to grieve a loss, and what it is that people need to experience most of all while here on Earth.

What struck me as most powerful about Woodson’s narrative was her ability to create such authentic voices for each of her narrators. I believed what each character was telling me and never felt as if their voices were forced or contrived, as I have experienced with other young adult authors. For example, Miah’s mother Nelia, a successful writer, convinces me of her pain and shock over the loss of her only child when she says, “And my hands. I am not old, but my hands shake sometimes. I cannot find a pen that writes. I cannot find paper to write on. I cannot. I cannot. I cannot. So I sleep. In this big house with all of its quiet, what else is there to do?” (13). Nelia does not even mention Miah here, and yet we sense her devastation and her lost ability to face her feelings and the world, and so instead of writing and living, she sleeps.

 Another character whose voice captivated me during my reading of Behind You is Kennedy, Miah’s teammate on the Percy Academy basketball team. As he contemplates a recently lost game he says, “on some days, I feel my boy right here, right next to me. He’s sitting on my bed…And he’s got this big grin on his face. I even feel his hand – slapping mine, saying, You know we shoulda whipped Dalton, yo. And I take his hand, pull him to me real quick, slap his back. Say, Who you tellin’, Miah man? Who you tellin’? (16-17)” Here, Kennedy illustrates a longing for his teammate and a strong feeling that Miah is still close by. Kennedy, a proud young man, doesn’t exude emotion in a dramatic way here, even though he is alone in his room, safe from the judgmental eyes of others. His expression is more subtle and, therefore, that much more powerful. I found this to be a realistic portrayal of a teenage boy’s grief process.

Woodson paints a believable picture of human beings in reaction to the most devastating kind of loss: the loss of one’s teammate, best friend, soul mate, and, above all, the loss of one’s child. Throughout each chapter, she refuses to hit the reader over the head with a lot of predictable drama and emotionality. In doing so, she shows great respect for her readers…And if there is one thing teenagers value most, it’s receiving respect from adults.